Seriously !!!!!

Emotional Confusion in the brain - 1

Yeah I made a mistake that I don't remember your name, I reference you as somebody else ..... but this is not meant to be a mistake atleast on my part cause you know what ...... Did you really ever care to come up and talk to me ? NO ...... Did you ever bother to make an attempt to tickle my emotional side? NO then why should I really care to keep a note of everything in my head......


Emotional Confusion in the brain - 2

Yeah I did not call up for long ....... ya it was a mistake but guess why because you have helped me in so many ways ..... that I feel to small in front of you ..... and now I messed up all the more cause I portrayed as if I don care whereas I do ......

but guess what this shall pass too like everything else

Lipstick Monologue

I stood in front of the mirror applying lipstick. My hands followed the smooth curve of the lips and I rolled over my lips to smooth out the effect. And I knew I had seen this before ... it was a Déjà vu. It was sometime back when my mother used to stand in front of the mirror to apply her lipstick and I just was always delighted to see her smearing the lip color. Often I would ask her to kiss me on my cheeks so that the shape of the lips is printed on my cheeks. When I would ask her to apply lipstick on my lips she would say I am allowed to do so when I grow up…… I don know today if I am happy by seeing the lip color on my face or I am sad to have grown up that now I need a lip color to brighten my face

Ponderings

Another day of thoughtless thinking and I progressed onto a seemingly different road. It was a perfect evening after being bedridden due to fever for two days. The thought cropped up my mind How does this life shapeup? Today’s decision are based on yesterday’s experience, forming the foundation of tomorrow. What role does the uncertainty play in life?
The person you is based on two distinct thoughts either you try to reduce the uncertainty by taking the predictable path or you try to take uncertainty in stride by taking it in head on and not being particularly apprehensive about taking the road less traveled.
Yeah I know there is no linkage between the first two paragraphs and this but I gossip I bitch and I have my own weaknesses but do I want to be a saint? That is the question I face, At each road I fight my own self by questioning my own behavior. Does being this judgmental help me? Probably not, does it guarantee of a nice behavior? Yes but does anybody really care? Probably not? Then why do I put myself through this when not needed …..
I studied an equilibrium lies when each party tries to maximize its profit but do you apply this principal to life too? And that is when the above conflict really comes in place …what to do ?

Through a woman's eye

Strange things are seen when you are drunk I saw the smoke from the hookah like a fulfilled woman whose scent is being inhaled and she derives the pleasure of being wanted ................... and there she was exhaled creating an aroma of more craving and more desire .....

Bottled Up

Today I feel so bottled up .....its a strange feeling .... I don even know how to express it .... its like being tied up .... it feels like I am tied in a prison with a wall of emotions and the bars of circumstances .... Nothing goes right when you want it to go ... What a strange life !!!! ..... I feel my happiness being destroyed by my own willful self ..... I just wanna walk alone today ... never to look back again ......... lose myself in an anonymity ...... where I am not aware of myself

Lost Moments !!!!

By and by I saw the suitcases get filled up .... each day I saw the room getting emptier day by day .... The things which made my room mine are gone .... It no longer belongs to me ....

Today the day has come when I can step my foot out of the house ..never to return again but something is lost ... Past few days each moment passed by yearning to take on the next step ..... and today I feel I lost the moments in the last few days for this one moment ... I want to go back .... look back in time ...fend for those moments ..relive them to the fullest and then take on the journey ......

This is what is the irony of life .... God gave us the power to decide how to live our moments .... but not the power to decide when to live the moments of life ....

Deprived !!

A week flew by and I did not even realize what it was like …. A week full of laughter …a week full of emotions and a week full of fulfillment …. Not even day passed when it felt that I was in the cruel world … but like a tide the week came and now its gone …. And I watch it …. A retreating wave taking away the sand from the sea shore …. wiping it off its only possession …. The sea shore feeling lost … whatever it had accumulated over time … It was proud of was now gone … and it was starting from scratch again … gather all bones to create a caricature .. it feels like gathering a muslin cloth to hide one’s bare minimum self …..