Ponderings

Another day of thoughtless thinking and I progressed onto a seemingly different road. It was a perfect evening after being bedridden due to fever for two days. The thought cropped up my mind How does this life shapeup? Today’s decision are based on yesterday’s experience, forming the foundation of tomorrow. What role does the uncertainty play in life?
The person you is based on two distinct thoughts either you try to reduce the uncertainty by taking the predictable path or you try to take uncertainty in stride by taking it in head on and not being particularly apprehensive about taking the road less traveled.
Yeah I know there is no linkage between the first two paragraphs and this but I gossip I bitch and I have my own weaknesses but do I want to be a saint? That is the question I face, At each road I fight my own self by questioning my own behavior. Does being this judgmental help me? Probably not, does it guarantee of a nice behavior? Yes but does anybody really care? Probably not? Then why do I put myself through this when not needed …..
I studied an equilibrium lies when each party tries to maximize its profit but do you apply this principal to life too? And that is when the above conflict really comes in place …what to do ?

Through a woman's eye

Strange things are seen when you are drunk I saw the smoke from the hookah like a fulfilled woman whose scent is being inhaled and she derives the pleasure of being wanted ................... and there she was exhaled creating an aroma of more craving and more desire .....

Bottled Up

Today I feel so bottled up .....its a strange feeling .... I don even know how to express it .... its like being tied up .... it feels like I am tied in a prison with a wall of emotions and the bars of circumstances .... Nothing goes right when you want it to go ... What a strange life !!!! ..... I feel my happiness being destroyed by my own willful self ..... I just wanna walk alone today ... never to look back again ......... lose myself in an anonymity ...... where I am not aware of myself

Lost Moments !!!!

By and by I saw the suitcases get filled up .... each day I saw the room getting emptier day by day .... The things which made my room mine are gone .... It no longer belongs to me ....

Today the day has come when I can step my foot out of the house ..never to return again but something is lost ... Past few days each moment passed by yearning to take on the next step ..... and today I feel I lost the moments in the last few days for this one moment ... I want to go back .... look back in time ...fend for those moments ..relive them to the fullest and then take on the journey ......

This is what is the irony of life .... God gave us the power to decide how to live our moments .... but not the power to decide when to live the moments of life ....

Deprived !!

A week flew by and I did not even realize what it was like …. A week full of laughter …a week full of emotions and a week full of fulfillment …. Not even day passed when it felt that I was in the cruel world … but like a tide the week came and now its gone …. And I watch it …. A retreating wave taking away the sand from the sea shore …. wiping it off its only possession …. The sea shore feeling lost … whatever it had accumulated over time … It was proud of was now gone … and it was starting from scratch again … gather all bones to create a caricature .. it feels like gathering a muslin cloth to hide one’s bare minimum self …..

Taken !!!!!

I saw the movie taken ...and all what came to my mind was ... you got to do so much for your kids .... and this does not apply to the rich or the poor ...all parents put in their best for their kids .....

What a feeling ... So much for a kid !!!! I cannot talk for myself cause as on date I don know but such a small life and so many emotions to emote. I don know if these emotions come naturally or is it a tendency which we all tend to follow, an expected path we tread upon !!!!!!

Lusty!!!!!!

After 3 weeks of sleepless night I today have all the time in the world. I miss those moments of Kicks of implementing something cool in code :) .... I admit it was not out of the world but then the kick of tackling a problem ...completing it .... nothing like it .... there are something which money cannot buy and that is this kick which you get out of working on difficult things !!!!!! Yeah I would call this lusty too !!!!!!